take things a lil slower.. hm.
~*perhaps i've just sped along too much for everyone else's comfort.
figures purity test what happens? no matter what perfection stolen lucky fragility rant happy never stitch-free snail-pace reflection grouchy whinings
Smoked.
Drank alcohol.
Cried when someone died.
Been drunk.
Had sex.
Been to a concert.
Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
Been verbally sexually harassed.
Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Been to prom.
Cried at school.
Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
Went streaking.
Given a lap dance.
Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
Kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Went scuba diving.
Driven a car.
Gotten an xray.
Hit by a car.
Had a party.
Done drugs.
Played strip poker.
Got paid to strip for someone.
Ran away from home.
Broken a bone.
Eaten sushi.
Bought porn.
Watched porn.
Made porn.
Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Been in love.
Frenched kissed.
Laughed so hard you cried.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Laughed yourself to sleep.
Stabbed yourself.
Shot a gun.
Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
Watched an animal die.
Watched a person die.
Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
Pranked somebody.
Put somebody in the hospital.
Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
Kissed somebody of the same sex.
Dressed punk.
Dressed goth.
Dressed preppy.
Been to a motocross race.
Avoided somebody.
Been stalked.
Stalked someone.
Met a celebrity.
Played an instrument.
Ridden a horse.
Cut yourself.
Bungee jumped.
Ding dong ditched somebody.
Been to a wild party.
Got caught stealing something.
Kicked a guy in the balls.
Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
Went out with your friend's crush.
Got arrested.
Been pregnant.
Babysat.
Been to another country.
Started your house on fire.
Had an encounter with a ghost.
Donated your hair to cancer patients.
Been asked out by someone that you never though you'd to be asked out by.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
Sat on your ass all day.
Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
Had a job.
Gotten cut from a sports team.
Been called a whore.
Danced like a whore.
Been mistaken for a celebrity.
Been in a car accident.
Been told you have beautiful eyes.
Been told you have beautiful hair.
Raped somebody.
Danced in the rain.
Been rejected.
Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
Punched someone/slapped someone in the face
oohhh. i got 60%. Not baddd....
What happens when most of the few people that really matter to you are always mad at you?
What happens when you never seem to do anything right anymore?
What happens when your head feels like its about to explode?
What happens when the only person you can run to, can't be there for you because he's not allowed to?
what happens then?
i will paint the smile, frozen on my lips, eyes clear from any form of emotion
i will be strong, i will not keel.
no one will ever see me cry.
~* i dare you to believe i will live through all this
Love can be a funny thing. It can make things perfect, make a person represent perfection, let one want to give perfection. Perhaps i may be wrong, but to me, ive never come across a person so perfect, so special, that i would want to give everything i have and own to see a smile across his face. No matter how many times he tells me i am telling lies ( and i most certainly am not) he is still to me, more gorgeous than Richard Gere, Hotter than Hugh Jackman, cuter than Hugh Grant and sweeter than the sweetest thing ever. Because I've grown up believing that the person i'd fall in love with would become to me the most gorgeous, sweetest person that ever walked this planet, and this is what he is to me, i know that i do love him, beyond words could say. Perhaps it becomes scary, that his influence and importance to me can be currently to the extent of the only other person who can easily make me cry, no matter whether i am right or wrong with a few harsh words or a angry shrug. But that is what he can do to me with a simple sentence that suggests his unhappiness. I realise how much i want to give him perfection, to be that person who would never make him unhappy or even close to it. It sounds completely impossible, since mistakes are frequent, and yet, that is what i want to do, want to achieve.
i know i am not perfection. But for him, that is every single thing i want to give.
~* loving you is easy cos your beautiful.
Q. What is your status?
attached, and happily attached i'm proud to announce.
Q : What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
hm. after-shower ablutions.
Q : What are your fave sports?
er, does swimming count? biking maybe.
Q : Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
yupp. mostly in private. unless i really can't take it anymore =/
Q : Who is your last bf/gf?
Leonard.
Q : Did you have a fight with someone today?
Nope =)
Q : What are your fave subjects?
Literature. And perhaps my secondary school english. fun lessons they were.
Q : Who cheers you up the most in your life?
hm Jeremy. And daffy too ^^.
Q : Do you like to chat?
yupp. love it!
Q : Last chat with?
hm. Jeremy
Q : Do you like to laugh?
yes. I think it is essential to be happy. Sides, laughing gives u abs.
Q : Last testi from? What's the testi about?
ehhh *scratches head* no friendster testis. But i have my sch testis. Does that count? .
Q : Last message from? What's about?
Jem. Private convo =p
Q : Last food?
Hor fun, er, hong kong noodles, and some wedges=)
Q : Do you have an exam?
NO! and i don't ever want to see one for the next 3 mths at least.
Q : Do you think people who like to study a lot are nerds?
er. Not really. I think balance is important. BUT if that's what they do ONLY, they definitely need a head examination.
Q : What's your opinion about long distance relationships?
Difficult, but not impossible to pull through with if both are willing to stick it through.
Q : About love at first sight?
possible. .
Q : About Real Best Friends?
They exist, although rare. Not everyone would go through fire and water and hot oil for u. but one or 2 may.
Q : What do you think about loving someone but he/she is not yours?
unrequited love is sad, its hm. inelastic in the Economics of love. *grin*
Q : Did you ever like someone but he/she didn't like you?
yupp.
Q : Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you didn't love?
I'm not too sure about that. It might have been on hindsight and in comparison. i don't know.
Q : Did you ever hurt someone who loved you so much?
i think so. I am sorry for it. But i can't say i regret it.
Q : Do you like your school?
ooooookayyy la
Q : Do you have any new bestfriend?
not really. i think. ok fine if u want to count Jem.
Q : Do you have something you must do right now?
sadly no ( that is why i am doing this)
Q : What do you think about this?
good fodder for bored people. oh well.
1) having met you
2) having so many shoulders to cry on if i need to, especially yours
3) having great gal pals who are wonderful chit-chatting/shopping/gossipping/almost anything companions
4) having small little gifts fall out from the sky, ranging from a nice msg to surprise visits ;)
5) having really nice friends ( really. you guys are WONDERFUL people)
6) having to not worry so much about my daily necessities
7) having small little happiness-releasing things like ice cream and chocolate within easy reach
8) being able to say 'i love you' to the people i love, especially the one i love most
9) having SOS hotlines in the form of a list of numbers to dial out to when in need of desperate help.
10) just being told that i am loved, in many different ways, by many different people.
i should really count my blessings. I find myself a much happier person after that .
soft cut edges that gently
bounce off beams of
warm light
The crystal glass,
held in your hand,
is infinitely cool, hard,
almost as if
infallible,
its hard having to realise that with each step closer you take to your own home, you get filled with this increasing sense of dread. Dread to see and feel that which you have been running from. Fear towards that cold rebuff you know is waiting your forced cheerful "hello". Pain at the knowledge that this wasn't what it was, that somehow somewhere your home that had echoed with warmth and laughter was suddenly and slowly taken away from your helpless hands, replaced with the cold empty jail cell that repels all warmth that could have been there, that you try to put back in. Somehow that reality is creeping closer and closer to me, and it's taking what i valued most in my entire life, slowly ripping each piece of that prized picture apart. I want to run, but no matter where i go it keeps coming back to me. I have no choice, i cannot hide. each road i take seems to lead to another painful stab. Stabs that cause wounds that never heal.
change is on its way, and to this picture i foresee the ambush it may carry within its wake. Perhaps i may be wrong, but somehow, it seems clear, that if things don't go that desired way, destruction remains the only product. I'm scared. Scared of losing everything that keeps my head in its increasingly precarious balance.
And that includes losing you. Becoming dependant on a person is very scary. One realises how that person becomes integral in helping you live your life as a normal person. integral to maintaining your sanity. I do wonder how safe it is to become such a dependant, but it is too late to revoke any choice that i had made, and nor do i want to, for that matter. Perhaps it means that i'll do everythign adn anything possible and within my means to keep you here with me. it may scare others to realise it, but i think that at the rate we're going, that's all i want to do.
i've made a choice, and that choice is, i want to stay with you, for all eternity.
~* when a grain of rice can tip the scale.
oh well.
Spent the day before with Daph on her birthday. Had lots of fun chit chatting and hahaha, giving her her birthday presents in pieces. Lolx. Sorta. Couldn't give her all of it though. The chocolates got
laid claim to. sigh. oh well.
had a lot of fun though. Missed her much cos we didn't have much time together when we finished As with all the extra stuff that came along. sigh. Still, at least when we become neighbours guess we cna have more time to hang out^^
oh well. This is my little tribute to the darling girl who's been such a great friend. She's one of the best people in the world, seriously. love ya woman!!!! may we celebrate plenty more birthday's to come for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! =)
Its a simple thing. When someone is still hopeful for more than friendship, and is still attention seeking, it can never happen. So in that scenario, when that lack of maturity surfaces in behaviour and seriously is irking me, i've fair enough concluded that that person is pretty much an idiot. So i've pretty much realised, that we can never be friends. That option was lost to us the minute he started behaving in a fairly annoying way.
therefore, i've made it clear. now go away.
on another note, i will try to be a lil more tolerant and a lil less gripish. Aaaaargh. I hate feeling PMS-sy. bleargh.
~* it is the end of the journey for you and me.
mmmmmmmmmmmm... feeling a bit drained. Oh well. somehow i think i will have to work on my time management. either that or split myself to pieces. it would help if everyone wasn't so gripish abt it nowadays.
on another note, i can finally breathe my sigh of relief. I was not screwed to the ground for my testimonial ^^ thank goodness.
i wish to the stars that i had more time to do everything that i want to do, Urgh. I have to learn to make 48 hours out of my 24. Pronto.
~* time passes much faster when i don't want it to.
really.
its only 7 o clock, and it feels bloody like 2 days already.
gawd, i am whining so shamelessly.
my profound apologies, but i really can't help it.
~* just 2 more days.
oh well, was just reflecting on what i heard in snippets from the children playing at the back of the bus wherever we travelled. Their world seemed so simple - " you are the bad people and we are the good people". i couldn't help smirking when i heard that. It rarely is that simple once u cross the line from being a babbling baby to a more conscious child. The world never existed in the simple shades of Black and white. There's really plenty of grey. I think that's where 95% of the world's population hovers. None of us can really be considered rotten to the core, nor saintly to the bone either.
Which brings me to another level of reflection. What makes a person good? i've read in the bible that even sinners will do things for those that they love. Granted, that is perfectly true for all humans. So does being good constitute doing things for people even though u don't like them? What of the times when we believe we are good people - is that a selfish evaluation, or anotehr way in which we fail to see our true selves?
sometimes i get very afraid of running away with the notion that i'm a passibly good person, or anyone else is, for that matter, largely because in all honesty, i have no idea what i am, nor on what basis to judge people. nor do i have the right to, to begin with, but i guess, forming opinions are naturally unavoidable. SO when we see one side of a person adn think he/she is perfectly horrible, someone else might see a completely different side and see otherwise. So thus, it means that our perception of a particular person may be untrue, or may just be an aspect.
if that is the case, whenever i now say someone is horrible, means i really have to think twice.
but i guess, that still doesn't mean that i don't have the right to 'not like people' =p
~* shades of grey that colour the world
seriously i paid for painkillers that do nothing
i'm grumpy, grouchy, and annoyed.
i made a phone call with instructions that led me to not be able to call.
i feel undertheweather.
i smell yummy cheese toast that i cannot touch, and i feel like a piece of mould.
i think its largely because i'm feeling deprived of you.
2 mins was bloody insufficient.
urgh. just kill me, and make it fast.
i'm pissed off with everything. and i'm NOT going to make another bloody confusing and aggravating phone call.
this is so not my day.
~* i swear the world today was against me.
its been 5 hours and 6 minutes since i last talked to him, and i'm feeeling all mopish already. *wail wail* miss him so much!!! and its barely that long since i last heard from him. 5-6 days. gosh this is so gonna be hell ='(.
on another level, got my wisdom tooth removed. it hurts. And since i hate pain and have a low threshold for it, i'm not a particularly happy recuperator. I thought painkillers are supposed to help. Right now it feels like there's been a few thousand needles poking into my gums and jaws right now. Ngarghhhhhhh. I want to get these 5 days over and done with.
Time. I hope u soar past like the wings of an eagle.
~* come back soon please
Bert
You scored 70% Organization, 50% abstract, and 61% extroverted!
This test measured 3 variables.
First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.
Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.
Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert.
By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an
extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was
somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more
about herself.
You are very organized, both concrete and abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.
Here is why are you Bert.
You are both very organized. You almost always
know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even
enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Bert is a big neat freak and
gets quite annoyed when Ernie makes a big mess.
You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Bert
is probably a bit more concrete in his bottlecap collecting addiction
and his love of the weather. He does show his abstract side when he
sings and performs his "Doin' The Pidgeon" song. You have a good
balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you
also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits
of course.
You are both somewhat introverted. Bert is probably more introverted,
because he spends most of his time either with Ernie or alone. Still he
has no problem being around other people in his role as chairman of
"The National Association of 'W' Lovers." Like Bert, you probably like
to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with
your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.
The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Kermit the Frog
Grover
Cookie Monster
Guy Smiley
The Count
If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want
to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up
and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 89% on Organization You scored higher than 43% on concrete-abstra You scored higher than 41% on intro-extrovert
Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
