+ Just a step away from paradise

yeah, another template with a lily on it

wheeeeeeeeeeeee...

I will never ever have to extend my painful and forced acquaintance with the idea of A-levels ever again. That has been the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to me this year, the first, still happening and i hope will continue happening till the end of time. =)

Oh well.

After a final luggage check and attempting to squeeze everything i need into my backpack, i realised i still have a bit of time, so i came online. i cannot believe that i finally never have to worry endlessly about having enough time to do everything, giving up TV to stare at a ever silent and intimidating book. I can now watch aimless TV programmes without guilt, slack without the slightest twinge of guilt at all. Doesn't that sound absolutely wonderful? You bet it does!!!

oh well. I'm heading off to Korea tonight. Will miss you all =) do do take care! ^^. no BIg promises of presents though =p.

to him:
i will miss you the most. 6 days i hope, will pass by like a breeze. I cannot wait to come back to see u before u run off on your own adventure. And amusingly, i haven't even left yet! Take care you. ily.

~* so kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me

You know, i really have no business appearing online and writing this entry, but somehow i'm not keen on reading lit anymore. instead, i went to poke around my other library. and settled in rather happily with nothing but a glass of pepsi. Not in the least to say, i was perfectly happy.

I find it amusing that being force-fed to digest certain plays takes the joy out of taking them apart altogether. So i chose to read only those i had a particular interest in. It also explains why i have been running away from the mock exams and all that, because i don't want to deal wiht it in that sense until the final hurdle. I'd write with my heart i guess. Don't get me wrong, i love lit - but somehow, attaching all these 'musts' to it takes out a hell lot of the Joy. I think i'd just go with my heart - expound better anyway =)

ok. after that bout of justifying to myself the 'bad behaviour' i displayed today, i guess i really should be getting back to my books.

in the meantime, happy hols to the rest who are already enjoying post -As!!! ^^

to Jem: the last quote there is the translation of something else. you'll understand when u get the final link ^^.

~* so let us be together forever

its going to be over. finally. i'm going to be free..

on another note, i feel very much like your puppet. Always told what to do, what not to, to live my life in a way that pleases you. My ups and downs follow your mood temperament changes, my highs and lows your own emotional phases. it just struck me that i have been living more than often this way just to please you. Where have i really been all this while? Is this what i have wanted, to be puppeteered all the way?

What is going to happen when i'm slowly going to break free? i have the intense desire to rebel now. Its getting harder and harder to resist. its this hot headed desire to really start living.

living for myself.

~* the puppet hangs on tight strings with its painted face, itching to cut off the strings that control its every move.

Math............................ 100% complete
Econs.......................... 100% complete
History......................... 50% complete
Literature..................... 33.3% complete
General Paper............ 100% complete
Literature(s)................. 0% complete

one by one the chains around her unwind.

and then, the worrying begins.

~*soon, it will be over.

The exams start tomorrow.

and all i can say is...

then Let the Games begin

~* i will take down each obstacle in my path.

urghhhhh. i. HATE. econs

i have no idea WHY i took it to begin with, or HOW it came to such a bad state of relations with my econs notes.

THEY TURN ME OFF.

NO set of notes has ever managed to do that.

so now i'm going to content myself with essay outlines, and working out all those fuzzy nebulous links

3 weeks. And then i'll be free.

gosh i can't wait.

~* BUT i will hang in there. its just whining to diffuse negative energy.

have you ever felt like you can never get enough of something, felt like you'd feel a bit lost due to its lack?

i feel so greedy. I should be contented, but somehow. i never seem to get there. i just keep wanting more.

and the funny part is, i'm actually happy about it.

imagine that.

~* oh help me NOT to have my fill

blbrbrb

i kinda realised the number of nonsense words i actually utter in my daily mutterings. Its quite a lot. scary.

i kinda realised how hard it is to stomach communicating with me.

*gasps*

~* and i thought i could speak well